As a child I never gave much thought to where I was going to live after I “grew up” and moved out. Oh sure, I knew what kind of house I wanted to live in and raise a family in. It would be a big house, I drew plans of it throughout my teen years. But I never gave a thought about how I’d go about getting that house. I turned 18 and moved out on my own. When I left I took with me some clothes, my stuffed animals, and a couple of dreams. I didn’t bother to take along any plans on how to fulfill my dreams.
I wasn’t ready to be out on my own at age 18. I stayed with friends for a while. But, like food, those things spoil. My first place of my own was a motel room. It didn’t have anything except a bed, television and bathroom. Wash was done in the bathroom sink, which also served as the fridge at night. We lived on bagels, from the bagel shop that I worked in. After that I moved to New Hampshire, as the guy I was dating (good old RB, now my hubby) had family there. That’s where I got my first real apartment. It had two rooms, and the shared bathroom was out in the hall. What a dump. We wanted to live in a house but only one of us was working. Heck, we wanted to live in a better apartment and couldn’t do that. We figured the house would come soon enough. We went through three more apartments in under two years. We barely scraped up the money to live week to week in those. Dreams of living in a house became cloudy.
I was miserable in New Hampshire. I came home to Jersey for Christmas, I was going to spend a couple of days with my family. RB had to work so he wasn’t going to make it. My parents arranged it so he could get a bus to Jersey so he could spend Christmas Day with me, and then he’d go back. I mentioned that I didn’t want to go back. Half kidding, my parents said “well why not stay”. I told hubby I wanted to stay and he said ok. We drove back after the holidays and got our things and moved back to Jersey.
We lived in an apartment for the next seven years or so. I had started drawing pictures of my dream house from time to time again, but we were no closer to living in that house. We moved into a trailer for a few months and socked away money. When we’d saved enough to buy a fridge and some furniture we moved into a house, the house where we live now. We were both working. Before we knew it, we were expecting our first child. TJ was born. Money got tighter. Then CJ was born and money got even tighter still. We still live in that house today. Money is still tight and it always will be. It’s the way it is, we’re working class people. And I’m fine with that.
My house is not the house of my dreams, but it is a house that I love. I haven’t given up my dreams completely, but they have evolved. I know now that we can never have the house that I always dreamed of. Why? Because we didn’t plan for it. We waited and waited, always thinking there would be time and money would get better. The fact of the matter is, the cost of living is only going up. What we couldn’t afford twenty some years ago we will never be able to afford now. But that’s okay. I know now that I don’t need a huge grand house with a theater and pool like I’d dreamed of as a child. I just need a place that fits my family where we can be safe, happy and living together without tripping over each other. If we can ever manage to get enough money together we’d like to add on to this house.
I tell my son that the future is coming and he needs to start thinking about it. While he will always have a place in my home, I don’t want him to be here because he has to be and has no other choice. I’ve explained to him that if I had it to do over again I would do certain things differently. I would work hard to save money, setting goals and working to meet them. I wouldn’t off research and planning the purchase of my first home. It used to be to even find out information about a house you had to go to an open house. That’s no longer the case, as illustrated in the article “10 Things Open Houses Won’t Tell You“. Now all you need to do is go online and you can see what’s out there and find out all of the information you’ll need to start planning.
And so, my top tip for planning for home ownership is this. Do it. PLAN FOR IT. You’re never too early to start planning for your own future.
Post presented by Genworth Financial
pat. marsden
Saturday 6th of October 2012
I started with a small affordable house with my parents' help. I paid the first and second mortgages along with bills faithfully and worked, worked, worked while improving the house and property. It was an investment. The neighborhood showed signs of change downward so I immediately sold at my list price, took the proceeds, and bought builder's construction in the next town. For a couple plus one the house was BIG. Time passed another child the house remained big. After my father died, my mother could not live alone so we made an apartment downstairs and moved her in. The house was no longed big. Two more children came along and our crowded house seemed very small. Time to add on. Rec room downstairs, deck, another garage, another bedroom, a master bedroom instead of a 123x12, and another half bath upstairs later in rennovations--perspectives have changed. Mom died, the kids moved out and in and out, etc. Hubby and I are alone and the house is humongous.