I love Greg over at Telling Dad, I read him regularly and make it a point to try not to miss his posts. He’s funny and insightful. Today I read a post that he wrote on long term care. It got me to thinking, and here are my thoughts.
For the record, I would totally take either of my parents in and care for them if they needed it. At least two of my brothers have publicly stated they would not, and that’s their choice. My parents took care of me and/or helped me for the first 18 years of my life and have always been supportive and helpful in the 27 years that have followed since. Helping care for them is the least I could do.
I have wiped someone’s behind every day for about 15 years now. Just as we got my oldest son potty trained my youngest came along. My youngest is now 12 and I have cleaned his butt just about every day since he was born. I will continue to do so indefinitely if needed, and trust me some days it is unpleasant. Being unpleasant doesn’t mean I don’t willingly do it. I do it out of love, as well as the need to clean his butt up before things are in places they shouldn’t be.
Oh, a brief interruption. Before I had kids I also helped care for my Grandma, including diaper changes.
Having worked in a portion of the medical field that interacts with both patients and staff I can assure you that there are good facilities and not-so-good facilities. The good ones aren’t accessible to everyone. The bad ones, well they’re bad, and accessible to everyone, particularly those with little or no money and poor insurance. I am terrified at what will happen when we’re gone. I think about it often and I cry often. Yes, there are some caring people out there who have made a career out of helping care for others, and some do it well. There are also some people to whom it is just a job and they don’t care and take no care.
So back to the question. Would I change my parents diapers and provide them long term care.
You bet your ass I would, if possible. I believe that while changing my parent’s diapers might not be pleasant, it’s far more pleasant then some of the other possibilities that come with entrusting the job to someone else.
